Miami. The city of magic famed for its art culture, white
sandy beaches, and the jet set life style.
I woke up on a bright Sunday morning as the light hit my
slightly sunburned face. It was a beautiful day and from my hotel window I could
see in the distance beach revelers already outside enjoying the day’s
festivities.
However, today was no ordinary day at the beach. Thanks to a
short lived status match promotion, in a few hours I would fly on a private Gulfstream
jet, for absolutely nothing!
How I booked a private jet from Miami for $0
After exploring a bit of downtown Miami, I dropped off my
friend and headed to the Signature Flight Support private jet terminal located
in a nondescript area lined with palm trees at Fort Lauderdale airport.
Flying private has its perks and one of them is being able
to pull directly onto the airport driveway in your rental car.
No Car Rental Lot Here
I was greeted by a lovely Jetsmarter ground
agent who confirmed my flight itinerary. A second Jetsmarter representative
took my bags, and also helped store a package that my friend forgot in the car.
An employee working at the private jet terminal took care of
my car rental and I made my way to the small waiting area.
Altogether, the whole process from arrival to settling into
a comfy lounge chair lasted no more than a couple of minutes, which was a complete
180 from a typical check in at the commercial terminal, even when flying first
class.
There was no TSA security checkpoint, nor are you asked to
remove any liquids. Instead bags are given a separate courtesy K-9 check prior
to boarding.
Surprisingly, there were no lounge amenities save a few vending
machines and enough apples to feed the entire flight. To be fair, I’d imagine
those flying private wouldn’t spend much time on the ground and can afford
bringing their own vices to enjoy on board.
Shortly before boarding, a copilot came by and manually
checked each of our IDs. As our flight was during the July 4th
weekend, our flight was around half full, with a grand total of eight
passengers.
From the lounge, I could see our private shuttle jet; an upgraded Gulfstream 550 (G5) instead of the typical
Gulfstream 4 that flies this route.
Apparently the owner of this particular jet was the Bank of
Utah, so I knew we were in for a treat.
Needless to say inside I was dancing like Tom cruise in Tropic Thunder (clip contains adult
language):
For those curious, a brand new G5 retails at around $50,000,000.
Yes Mathew McConaughey
a G5 aeroplane.
We then began the boarding process, which consisted of
walking out the sliding doors, walking 100 feet to the aircraft, and walking up
the built in the stairs.
Boarding the steps and
feeling like a VIP
Upon entering the cabin, my mouth dropped as I saw the gorgeous
cabin for the first time, with its beautiful leather stitching, wooden panels,
and plenty of gold trimmings.
My assigned seat was in the front part of cabin, which
consisted of a long couch, along with three pairs of plush light beige leather seats facing each other.
Waiting next to my seat was my personal item, a nice personal
touch by the ground staff, although this was quickly stowed away and I was
unable to retrieve it until after my flight due to pressurization concerns.
The back of the cabin had two rows of similar designed
leather seats facing each other. The seats were a bit tighter, as three seats
were crammed in per row, and were similar your typical domestic first class
seat.
At the back of the plane was a small galley, filled with
different types of cutlery and glasses, along with the most classy crew control
panel I’ve ever seen.
Microwave button
anyone?
A Jetsmarter ground representative checked up on us before
the doors were closed.
The whole boarding experience felt like a scene out of HBO’s
Entourage.
Boarding was complete in a matter of minutes and soon after
we began taxiing down the runway, with the wing livery shining like brand new
penny under the bright Florida sun.
Interestingly enough the safety briefing was kept to a minimum,
and with no reminders to put our portable electronics to airplane mode. In
fact, one of the passengers was face timing his relatives during takeoff!
G5 Safety Card
Takeoff was surprisingly smooth with the Rolls Royce engines
barely making a whimper as we climbed out of Fort Lauderdale airport.
The long oval shaped windows let in considerably more light
then your standard commercial jet, and as a result I had unobstructed views of
the stunning Florida coastline.
Since we were flying private, we climbed to 45,000 feet,
which is 10% higher than your typical commercial airliner. As a result, there is
considerably less air traffic to deal with and our flight time to Chicago was a
mere 2 hours and 30 minutes.
Once we hit cruising altitude, snacks were served a flight
attendant took our drink orders. Over
the course of the flight I had a couple glasses of Champagne, which was poured
in beautifully glazed goblets.
As this shuttle flight was half full, there was plenty of
space within the cabin to stretch my legs.
My seat was quite spacious, with plenty of padding. An added
bonus the seats can be rotated up to 90 degrees using a gold handle, so you’re
able to talk to your seat neighbor.
Each pair of seats shares a rather large dining table. Interestingly
enough no small detail goes unnoticed: the table hinge is made of faux gold
brass.
Speaking of faux gold, the cabin interior featured plenty of
it, making Emirates first class seem quite pedestrian. There were golden seat
belt buckles.
Air vents & reading lights
Even an old school CD Audio Controller
If you’re not feeling the sun, you can manually adjust the
window blinds using a window slider, naturally containing gold brass.
But nothing compares to the gaudiness of the private
bathroom located in the back of the plane. As expected, the door handle was golden,
with an antique slip flap vacant sign to display occupancy.
The bathroom was incredibly spacious and stretched the
entire width of the plane, and was bigger than most commercial first class
bathrooms, except those found on the A380.
The lighting system featured incandescent light bulbs
instead of your typical bright white LEDs, resulting in much warmer background.
Instead of your typical plastic hand washers and sink, this bathroom
was equipped with a regular sized golden faucet with both hot and cold water
taps.
Mirrors lined one side of the bathroom wall to create extra
space and depth.
The bathroom also featured quite a few unique call buttons.
A regular sized hand towel lay on top of a golden towel rack
and keeping with the old money theme, the toilet itself was hidden under a
leather seat covering.
Perhaps the only thing made of bare plastic was a regular
power outlet, but of course on top of it was the classiest flush button you’ll
ever see.
At the back of the bathroom are numerous compartments that
containing supplies for the on flight catering, and a “crew only” compartment where
our luggage was being stored.
This is truly is what a perfect throne room in the sky would
look like and the interior finishes are simply on a different level then those
found in commercial aircraft.
Over the course of the two and half hour flight, I got to
know my seat neighbors, both who happened to be mileage enthusiasts, and I was
even able to try the jet couch.
The couch was quite comfy to lie down on, although I’d be
hesitant sharing one with another passenger on a full flight.
Occasionally we would hit slight turbulence and seat belt
sign turned on, although nary a voice came up on the intercom asking us to sit
down. I suspect those flying in private aren’t used to taking commands in the
air.
Typically the door from the cockpit and the passenger
section was closed, although on the later end of the flight I was able to take
a quick sneak peak of the cockpit.
For those concerned about the safety when flying private
needn’t worry as our flight had both a pilot and a co-pilot, similar your
typical commercial jet.
Time flew by and before long the edges of Chicago began to
creep up on the horizon. As we began our descent into Midway we were treated to
stunning flyby of the Chicago skyline.
We taxied to a relatively discrete location on the corner of
Midway.
Similar to our boarding process in Fort Lauderdale, we
deplaned via the jet staircase, and of course took a bunch of G5 selfies.
Our luggage was waiting in the arrival lounge and I bid farewell
to the most luxurious aviation flight I’ll probably experience.
I then grabbed an Uber back to the commercial terminal at
Midway, before taking a flight back home on Southwest.
Welcome back to the real world.
